terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
