My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My dad is sitting where you rode me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
