I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
