Duck Duck Cougar?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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