Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
