The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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