I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
her vagine was all disorganized.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
