Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
