if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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