Small penises have feelings too.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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