Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize