He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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