ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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