What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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