just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize