i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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