fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
