I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
