I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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