My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize