On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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