Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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