I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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