I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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