So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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