I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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