youre lurking in front of me
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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