Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm drive I can fine osifer
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize