hotel room ftw
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
