it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
