You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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