Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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