Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Winning.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut

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(410): View more from Maryland

my shit smells like andre

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(614): View more from Ohio

Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.

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(514): View more from Quebec

I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.

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(469): View more from Texas

Found your bra

(214): View more from Texas

Where?

(469): View more from Texas

Hanging in the tree

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