He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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