i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize