If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
