I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
