I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
