He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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