i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
