I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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