he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
