Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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