I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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