if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
