i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
