the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Where are you guys?
Drunk
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
