Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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