So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
