Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
