So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
