There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
