Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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