I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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