Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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