He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
