Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
