Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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