you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
