So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
