I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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